at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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