i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
