the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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