I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
