bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
