You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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