Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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