it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
