I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
