i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
