Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
