i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We talked him into tasing himself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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