why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
