Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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