I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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