The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize