your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
