I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
