He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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