Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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