When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
