Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
