I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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