Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
