its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i will never coherently bang her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
