I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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