dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am naked and annoyed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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