I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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