The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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