ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
