I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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