I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
