just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
