Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
