"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
