Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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