i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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