i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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