I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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