Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize