Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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