I could make wine with my vomit
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
