your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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