You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
