Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
