Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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