What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
