I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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