dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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