So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
