Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize