found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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