You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
