I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
