Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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