sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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