I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
