Where did you get a picture of my penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
