I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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