the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i drank out of a bidet.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
