My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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